Washington, D.C. — President Donald Trump’s Military Parade took an unexpected detour today when the military band leading the parade mistook a poorly marked intersection for a highway on-ramp and ended up circling an Arby’s drive-thru for nine minutes.
Witnesses say Trump, riding in a custom golf cart wrapped in gold foil and labeled “Commander In-Chief 2025,” appeared confused but unbothered.
“He thought it was part of the show,” said one aide. “He kept saluting curly fries.”
Several parade tanks followed the band through the lot, briefly boxing in a 2003 Honda Civic attempting to pick up mozzarella sticks.
Trump addressed the crowd from a parking lot megaphone:
“This is the most tremendous drive-thru I’ve ever been in. Better organized than NATO. Better beef, too.”
Critics were quick to respond.
“Honestly? That’s the most efficient military movement we’ve seen from him in years,” tweeted one D.C. official.
The campaign later tweeted:
“MARCH TO ARBY’S: STRONGER THAN EVER.”
Sources say the band eventually rejoined the main route but not before ordering 17 Beef ‘n Cheddars and a Jamocha shake “for national security.”
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